The Wall

Okay, this is gonna be a long blog but i’m gonna post it as i write it, so bear with me if it seems incomplete.. i’ll keep coming back and updating this thing as i have time….

Gateways.  What do I mean by that?  I mean in the sense of something allowing you to do something else.  So more in the “do” sense rather than by means of travel.

What are gateways?  For me, it was just the simple acceptance of substances in my life.  You see, I never drank, smoked or did anything else before college.  I remember when I was 17 years old and had just graduated high school.  My buddy and I rented a condo by the beach and we planned to throw our own  graduation party there.  So that summer, he and I drove down to Seaside and prepared for our little fiesta.

It was my first real party of any kind.  In high school, I never went to any parties, never hung out with the cool crowd.  I had a handful of close friends who I connected with.  Otherwise, I was just focused on school and sports.

So anyways, Brian and I weren’t old enough to buy alcohol.  Luckily we ran into a guy at the parking lot who agreed to buy the beer for us.  We ended up with a case and were ready to throw down!

We invited some friends and started the party.  I remember standing there in the kitchen with a bud light in my hand.  I tried to drink it but it tasted gross and I was nervous at what I thought was poison for the body.  I ended up faking it but never drinking that single bottle of beer.

Fast forward.  Freshman year in college.  I’m now in a dormitory in Santa Clara, CA and I’m around all these kids fresh out of high school.  We’re independent now.  No parents to report to!  And campus parties going on every single weekend.  So what happened?  I learned that to be accepted by the cool crowd, it was important to go to parties and what else.. drink beer!  Within a short time, I became a master at “chugging”.. basically taking a funnel and filling it up with about three cans of beer and then drinking it in about three seconds!

That was all I did in college, drink beer.  It wasn’t until Colorado and then Vegas that I learned how to party hard.

Now days, I know better.  But I’ve known better for years and I would still get caught up in going out and partying sometimes.  What drives me to party?  It’s easily the influence by my peers.  I’m surrounded by people in the nightlife industry and Vegas is a party 24/7.  I started thinking of how I could cut out this distraction once and for all.

The triggers, or “gateways”, are not just the presence of alcohol or the people who encourage you to drink it.. I finally realized it’s deeper than that.  It is the ACCEPTANCE that drinking or being around people who drink is OKAY.  When I allowed myself to think it was okay to drink or to hang around people who liked party all night, then that allowed me to say it was okay to more and more.. until it became a problem.

I got lots more to say about this but will have to come back to it.  Bottom line is that for 2009, I’m not okay with drinking or with the peer pressure.  I love my friends and will never turn my back to them.  I’m not better than them because of my new belief.  I just ask them to understand and to not tempt me anymore.

It’s not okay for me to drink or party in 2009.  The most I’ll do is have a drink while giving a toast on a special occassion.  2009 is a year to focus on my priorities, my NUMBER ONE is to become FINANCIALLY SUCCESSFUL enough to the point of being able to take care of my ENTIRE family.  PERIOD.

So if you’re a friend who’s reading this, please remember this goal of mine and keep me focused, not distracted. I feel strong enough to resist any temptation but your support only helps.  If anyone wants to try this, I encourage you to give it a shot.  Especially if you live in Vegas!  Vegas is like a playground for adults.  Visitors come there to have fun.  But people who live there can get caught up and never really grow up or achieve their goals.  There in this holding pattern where they party and follow the same routine night after night.  There is so much more to life than this.  I’ll party again one day after I can look back and see that I achieved the goals that were most important to me.