The rebirth of the spiritual warrior
What does “spiritual warrior” mean? Well, the tattoo on my back represents that. Although the characters means “inner energy” and “warrior”, i decided to make up my own creation and i gave that combination the name “spiritual warrior”. And what that means is simply I fight with my spirit. I will fight for my family’s survival and I will battle against my own inner demons. My goal is simply peace and happiness. And I will attain that by strengthening my will every day.
You see, I can train at the gym and lift weights and hit bags and spar with people and maybe that will allow me to knock some people out. But my greatest adversary is not someone on this earth.. it’s my own inner demon that lies within myself. Punching out someone takes a few seconds and little energy. To knock out a demon takes a lifetime. And the demon is what really matters. He is what causes me real pain. He is what stops me from reaching my potential. He is what keeps me from truly being happy.
So I begin my path again as a spiritual warrior. I continue where I left off in March. I had started the year on the best note ever. Along the way, I got lost. Forgot the path that I was on and struggled to remember where I had been.
Now I am focused. I had to cleanse myself. I did this by almost killing myself. Don’t worry, I’m not suicidal. But I had to inflict enough pain so I would never ever forget. I now have someone who is providing me with a map. And I have great friends who have come out of nowhere to offer support. I was lost but now I’m found!
If you’re reading this, don’t think I’m saying this as a cry for help or think I was in some deep depression recently. I had my ups and downs as does everyone in life. But it’s time I used this brain to solve these problems in my life. God made me smart but I still make dumb decisions! Now I’m looking to make only good ones.
There may come another 30 day challenge. Maybe I’ll make it longer. Maybe I’ll tell you what the challenge is. Maybe I won’t. I write these thoughts online in my journal because its therapeutic. It helps me remember if I write it down. I often reread my thoughts so I can see where my progress is. And sometimes, you never know if someone reads this and somehow in someway, it ends up helping them too.
My life coach reminds me of what my purpose is every day with random text messages. I appreciate them Marty! What I want to do is help others in life. That’s who I am. That’s who I’ll always be. But I have to help myself first. Once I’ve figured that out, I’ll be sure to post the answers.
Enough typing, eyes getting tired from staring at screen. Peace love and happiness!
Dont give up , I know you can do it.
One day you will get your goal
We all have demons Steve. Either we chose to fight them off or ignore them, hoping they’ll just go away on their own. Believe me, I’ve been there just a couple of months ago. I felt like I lost my soul, because everything was just falling apart in my life. But I found myself again. I found myself back with God and I also found the strength to pick up the pieces and start off fresh… that strength was my daughter.
And don’t worry about making dumb decisions in life. We all do it, we’re only human. I’m sure you’ve heard this plenty of times, we all make mistakes and all we can do is learn from those mistakes.
What is important is that you are back in your goal. We became stronger after we passed sad times or experience some weakness. I’m glad you found friends and people that cares about you and were able to give you support. Keep positive!! We all want you to find happiness.
If you give up when it’s winter, you will miss the promise of your spring. The beauty of you summer, fulfillment of your fall. Don’t let the pain of one season destroy the joy of all the rest. Don’t judge life by one difficult season. Live simply, love generously, care deeply, speak kindly. Leave the rest to God. (Can’t remember who wrote this) Great words to live by. Hugs..
Steve, I don’t know how, or why, but you did it again. Everything you just wrote in that first paragraph, Holy Crap, I have been thinking the same thing recently… My inner demons…
The last few months have been hard for me and yet strengthening and encouraging me to move forward with all the plans that have been throwing themselves at me on my new path to finding my true self… Long time friends true colors are out in a very bad way, issues that have been in need to be resolved are crawling at an unbelievable slow pace… Patience has been growing very thin and my sanity has been driving to a shaky place… all in all, I keep regrouping, I keep reminding myself I am going onto the path I was meant to be on… The obstacles hitting me along the way, distracting obstacles “inner demons” as well, and the key is to keep focused and love what you do and who you are, be true to you and keep going moving forward and things will fall into place.
At times I feel so incredibly great and positive with how far I’ve come and how far I want to go and I will keep full speed ahead and then other times (like this past month), I just wish someone would hold me and pay attention and want me. So my one foot falls off the new path and looks at the old. And then I read your blogs and it is like (as I’ve written before) you are one step ahead of me. LOL! I am like a pup and you keep turning back to say (in a gentle voice of course) “no no no, come on, this way”. I know that is a bad analogy but I don’t know how else to describe it without getting flirtatious… ;p
Anyway, here I write to you, once again a Thank you for showing how NOT alone I am, and note you are not alone either… One day at a time, one step at a time. Steve, you are a strong and beautiful person inside and out, a Spiritual warrior who is going to kick some demon ass! ;p
“Embrace Life and love with them you will laugh and learn”
xoxo
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You are absolutely right, “But my greatest adversary is not someone on this earth.. it’s my own inner demon that lies within myself. Punching out someone takes a few seconds and little energy. To knock out a demon takes a lifetime.” — I was once told that our biggest strength is also our biggest weakness – I believe that to be true, at least for me it is.
I do feel you are on the right track and have a great foundation, be careful not to forget that we can’t defeat our demons on our own and in our own power. We must use the strength and wisdom of the One who created us. While your life is very much different than mine, we may very well struggle with the same demons: temptation, vanity, etc… We also share the same Creator and in Him lies all power and all wisdom. As long as we keep our focus straight, we can’t lose and the battle will end in victory. One day at a time — the rest will fall into place!
Steve, you have good friends and good family. Keep on keeping on and you will not be disappointed!! *hug* “Success is one failure after another without giving up!”…
Don’t forget – you have an awesome song on your playlist: “Lord Give Me A Sign” by Dmx — Music often helps your focus more clear..
I was wondering where that “Steve” went. The one I first read of when I became your myspace friend. Thanks for accepting by the way. I remember reading all your blogs/online journals and finding such inspiration in them. I thought wow, this man is incredible I can’t wait to see what he has to say next. You have made me a follower. Not a stalker, lol, but a follower of your courage, your wisdom, and above all your strenght. Simply in your writings I saw how focused you were and how ready to take on the world you were as well. So I followed your writings and saw your progress and you inspired me as well. So I continued to read, and then one day nothing, no more writings. So I said, he is really busy he will write later. Next week, nothing, next month nothing. So then I thought, I think he has lost his way. Scary thought to see someone you have come to admire lose his way. I must admit that although I don’t know you, I still prayed for you to find your way back. And now you have written again. I am glad you are back, I am glad that you are refocused. I hope that you can continue on in your quest to find the true strength to defeat your “inner demon”. We all have one, and some of us overcome it, and some of us let it consume us. You will defeat your “inner demon” Steve, you are strong body,mind,and spirit. Good Luck!! Don’t stop writing because it really is a great way of reminding you what your true goals are because writing comes from the soul. And for the record, your writing, your being you, inspires some of us. I can say that on a very personal note. You don’t have to know someone to be inspired by them. So thank you for the inspiration. You might never read this, and you might not respond to it either, but it doesn’t matter, just know that you have a made a difference, more than you know. Thank you Steve, and good luck.
I often marvel at the seeming randomness of how people’s pathways cross each other in life. I love the strange and wonderful mix of people life throws my way. I believe that like attracts like, that people with the same energy gravitate towards each other. This is the principle that acts behind strangers who meet for the first time and feel that they are kindred spirits. Have you ever sat down with a stranger for a few hours and feel as if you’ve known each other before in some distant time and place?
Some are only meant to pass through your life briefly like shooting stars, staying only long enough to deliver their message or bestow you with a gift. Others are destined to stay for longer. Either way, I believe that each encounter is a meaningful one, that people come into each other’s lives for a reason, whether it’s only for 5 minutes or 5 years. Most of the time, these “chance” meetings make sense only much later on in life.
<3
I’m proud and glad your on track again. We all have a spiritual charted path that we sometimes detour off and have to brush ourselves off, get back on and see the big picture. But, one must love themselves in order to love another. Keep your head up no matter what people say or do and as long as you know your doing the right thing nothing else really matters. I read many spiritual books and have met some amazing spiritual people who have really inspired me in knowing I’m on the right path. If one doesn’t question themselves, then your not on track. (if that makes any sense) Something about you intrigues me and I find myself stopping by your page/wall quite often. Thanks for sharing your thoughts!! Much Love Steve…xoxo God bless!
Glad to see you back! You are an inspiration. Your inner strength and goodness are so apparent in everything you do!! Keep the faith sweetie and be true to you!!!
Love it!
I definitely agree with what you wrote. I have been going through personal development as well and it is constant discipline. The sense of accomplishment is worth it though! Achieving goals are so much sweeter knowing that it took so much work to get there! Have a wonderful Day. Stay focused and intentional!
just wanted to say that you all give me so much strength.. thanks for all the support and feedback.. this is why i love helping people.. because when i’m in need, help finds a way back to me
karma baby karma